Opportunity - Day 120

I think acronyms in the medical field were created either to make everyone involved sound really smart or to thoroughly scare patients into thinking those letters must mean something so intense, we shouldn't question them.  :)  So, this weekend we were in-patient for three and a half days for the HD-MTX and VIN injections at the PEC unit of LPCH with results fully monitored via CHEM-10 and CBC analysis for purpose of fighting (no, annihilating)  Pre-B cell ALL so that it is totally and completely F.U.B.A.R.  Ellie was discharged on Monday morning with a big smile, so draw your own conclusions on who won that particular battle.

We were fortunate in may ways to get this in-patient stay at El Camino hospital in Mountain View.  They only allow a max of 8 oncology patients there at a time (this past weekend, I believe there was 2-3 less than that even), so the place is just overall about 10 notches lower on the craziness scale.  It is very serene and when the on-call doc shows up for rounds, he isn't followed by 5 med students/residents.  He actually sat down with us for almost 15 minutes on both Saturday and Sunday.  I'm certainly not complaining about the hustle and bustle of LPCH - I mean, if that produces a cure, I'm good with running around with no head - BUT, with this being an expected multiple day stay, to be treated with such care is very reassuring.

HD-MTX is High Dose Methotrexate.  Up until this point she has only received a dose of this drug 10 times weaker in her lumbar punctures that go straight into her spinal cord.  For four times during Interim Maintenance, she will get the High Dose version over a 24 hour period through her port.  It is potentially toxic to the liver and kidneys.  The method is to basically hydrate her like crazy 6 hours prior to dosing and then throughout the entire stay so her body has as much help to pass it through as quickly as possible.  For our first go around with this, she ended up being about 18 hours ahead of schedule with recovery following the final drop of drug and thus got discharged early.  That's my girl.

We are still in a nice period with blood counts.  Her ANC (immune system) rating today was 3500, another all time high since diagnosis.  We expect the chemo, as usual, will start to kick in with side effects in the next few days.  We had a queasy stomach this morning (though it was short lived) and know her counts will begin to fall soon.  If we make counts a week from today, our next in patient stay will begin on Nov 4th.  The non-neutropenic days are an opportunity to do some normal things and we take full advantage.  We've had two meals out at one of favorite small restaurants in Portola Valley this week and Polly was able to take both kids for a horse ride late last week prior to heading to the hospital.  You never know how long until these types of days stick around or will potentially be gone for.

Our first hope each day of course is that she is comfortable and content.  Obviously that goes a long way to sustain as normal of an atmosphere as we try to provide.  But the second hope right behind is that she eats.  The chemo is so relentless when it comes to destroying appetite and she loses weight pretty quick sometimes.  We have to find moments where our eye catches her starting to nibble consistently on something and then pounce in there with a ton more of whatever IT is because IT does not show itself very often.  A couple weeks ago it was Campbell chicken noodle soup.  Last Friday, it was the grilled duck breast Polly's dad ordered for dinner and offered a bite which then turned into, "Ok Papa, I'll eat half"  You'll think I am joking but we're then trying to slap some butter on each bite before she sees it.  It is an interesting quest each day to say the least and I see at least a small part of her being annoyed 25 years from now when she hears the stories of what she was offered but turned down in terms of not-even-close-to-Lean Cuisine.  Staying hydrated and well fed goes a long way to making things a little bit easier, so we look for and seize every moment we can.

My high school soccer season at Serra begins next week.  In our pre-season meetings, I've stressed a great deal the idea of Opportunity.  They come and go sometimes without paying enough attention to what is actually being offered nor the knowledge of what you are capable of if you see the opportunity through to the end.  Experiences are greatly enriched by fulfilling that opportunity in every aspect...including those aspects much more demanding of personal sacrifice.  I certainly cannot say I embrace every necessary sacrifice with open arms the minute they present themselves but I recognize their significance once I can wipe the sleep from my eyes.  Opportunities to sit and watch the twins throw their milk back in the morning while jockeying for position to select the next video on the "mini pay-pay" (ipod touch) or how good my food tasted the last three dinners we've been able to sit down as a family or the incredible words I hear on the phone while at work now that I can actually have a conversation with either of them on the other end.  Polly and I have had the opportunity to see both our parents in the last week time to spend with their grand kids including a bounce house session with Polly's mom.  There are also the opportunities to help Ellie stand back up after she gets sick to her stomach (which she now officially hates with a passion) and to change her diaper immediately when she gives us that "look" because we know now how much that alone can ease some pain....or the opportunity Polly takes everytime to use amazing care when prepping Ellie to have her port accessed.  It's making this journey very tolerable every single day.

Herb Brooks, coach of the 1980 USA Hockey Team that won gold in Lake Placid in what is well known as the "Miracle on Ice" made a tremendous statement in the hours before he slayed Goliath - "Great Moments come from Great Opportunity".  If you look at just one day, and one day only....the opportunities have been there and we are so forever thankful to be witnesses.   So someone PLEASE stop me and send me back if I walk right past one.  We're focusing all of our energies on making sure we see them all.

If you are curious, here is Hollywood's version of Herb Brooks' words:  Click Here

Opportunity can lead to Miracles.  Game ON, cancer.