IM Midpoint - Day 140

140 days.  Really?!  On many days its hard to remember what life was like before cancer and yet so many others I can recall all of the things we were doing the days before diagnosis as if it were yesterday.  Onward we go.  We have reached the half way point of Interim Maintenance (IM) having completed 2 of the 4 hospital stays for dosing of HD Methotrexate.  We are in the midst of trying to qualify for stay #3 right now.  Ellie has had labs done Monday and Tuesday of this week and not quite gotten there.  Her immune system (ANC) has remained in tact for almost all of this phase so far (knock on the biggest piece of wood you can see right now, please) but her blood platelets have fluctuated a bit and are the current sub par level right now holding us back from the next admittance.

The last stay we had was nearly 6 days in-patient and Polly and I probably should have prepared better mentally for a longer stay than we did.  Her first stay lasted just a touch over 72 hours and silly us for thinking this time would be no different.  In the grand scheme of things I know it is not right to complain about the length of stays.  We have to go a lot further to get to the hospital in Mountain View which adds up to alot of driving for Timmy and I on our dinner visits.  But we think about our friends who commute from Sacramento for LCPH's cancer treatment of their 1 year old and we (ok, I) probably shouldn't complain.  Its tough to just sit in there and wait for her to clear the drug while Polly trys to care for/entertain and then get enough sleep in the process.

If Ellie can meet blood counts on Thursday, she'll be admitted on Friday morning to LPCH for another LP procedure (spinal injection) and then ambulanced over to Mountain View for the HD MTX dosing.  We are really hoping to start again on Friday so that she can clear and come home in time for Thanksgiving.  I don't need turkey, I don't need football, I just want Ellie home for the holiday weekend.

When she was discharged last week, we had such a good day hanging out as family, going to breakfast, and then running them both ragged at the outside shopping center at Stanford.  If it moves/chugs/glows in a store window, Timmy is drawn to it like moth to flame.  That coupled with multiple water fountains throughout the plazas - endless entertainment.  Oh and THEN, we watch the Cal Train come into the nearby station where both kids know the street crossing barriers come down first and next the train inevitably shows up.  Our conversation abounds with what will happen next.  Timmy of course is not wanting to move until his predictions of the crossing barriers rising back up come true.  We quite possibly have early engineering going on here.  Timmy will build it (check that - he will vigorously manage the process) and Ellie will show everyone how to wave at it as it goes by.  Garbage trucks, buses, trains...all deserve and receive a wave from El.

Her days home have been, for the most part, ok.  Funny what we consider "ok" now a days.  She throws up in the morning pretty regularly now 2-3 days post hospital stay.  She is able to communicate so much better with  how she feels (relative to a few months ago) that we know the minute the nausea has passed because her smile immediately returns and she starts proclaiming it is time to watch "The Elmo".  She gets so many bruises that you would think she has just gone 12 rounds in the boxing ring.  There are also a lot of little things that seem to pop up which are not immediate causes for concern but you just pray are not symptoms of a bigger problem, such as her current elevated liver function levels due to the HD MTX.  We try to follow the doctors advice if our concern should be real or not but still cannot help but think of potential issues down the road (after she's cured) that will come up with her health because of all the chemo she has received.  And therein lies the point where you have to reality check yourself back to the "living day by day" philosophy or else being overwhelmed would be a constant.  I wish I could say it is that easy.  It is not.  We get overwhelmed still at times every week, curse cancer to no end, and just try look forward to more days like our Stanford shopping center window shopping water fountain spree.

Thankyou for the continued prayers.  Please pray we can get into the hopsital this week by Friday.  We are trying to maintain our focus a midst this chaotic schedule.  The twins have taken a huge liking to pumpkin pie as of late (thankyou Trader Joes), so the goal right now is to have a huge piece in a week's time with the usual Hey Family turkey day gathering in celebration of making it 3 down and 1 to go.